Monday, November 1, 2010


Welcome back to the shit show.

    I wish that I could tell you that as my summer of lez love played out I became less sexually inhibited. 

However, truth be told outside of serving on one LGBT Q&A panel and my first trip to P-Town, I mostly stayed on my own sexual island. 
Only my friends in the LGBT circle knew. So it seemed that I was doomed to one unrequited summer crush after another.

Making the Short List:
Promiscuous bad girl lesbian who didn't think I was into her (are you kidding me?!?). 
Riot Girl Lesbian who seemed equally spooked by her own sexuality.
My documentary film professor, recently divorced in her early 40's(What can I say? I love smart older women.)
Note: Years later when I spoke to my PBG lez crush the exchange went as follows:

PBG: Really you had a crush on me back then? I had no idea.
Me: Ummm...yeah, but I was too afraid to say anything. 
PBG: Really? I totally would have hooked-up with you. 
Me: Damn.


By the end of the summer I really didn't know what to think. Sure I loved the ladies, but so far my track record was providing ample proof that I wasn't particularly good at snagging any of them. 

Part of this was because I was so awkward. 
At 16 I clearly had no game 

and I looked like a straight chick. 
Looking back I can have one "Ah ha!", moment after another. Although at the time all I could think was why? 
By the time I left Sexplo I was only partially out of the closet and unsure of how to face my life back in Virginia. 
What would I tell my best friend and would I tell my parents? 
Was I really willing to face further hazing by my peers?
I know, I was tired just thinking about it. zzzzzz...
Next time: The South rises again....
and then falls down. 
High-School Part 2: the Questionable Years 

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